The same thing goes for mentoring. If you looking to mentor someone, be subtle about it. Many people might say they want to be mentored but have a hard time when someone actually steps up to do it. Because let’s face it, there is an implicit message when you offer to mentor someone – you are implying not only that the other person is lacking in some areas but also that you are better than they are! That can really bother people, especially if they have big egos. Unfortunately, the people with the biggest egos are usually the ones who need the most mentorship.
So instead of outright telling someone you are going to mentor them, be subtler:
- Instead of, “I’ll tell you how we are going to execute,” try, “How do you think we should execute?”
- Instead of , “let me coach you how to do that,” try, “Can you explain why you do it that way?”
- Instead of, “I will mentor you,” try, “I would love to compare how you do things to how I do them.”
The latter options of these statements are indirect approaches. What they are really doing is starting a conversation, opening the door to discussion, and disarming any defenses that might be activated by a direct approach.
Ref: Leadership, Strategy and Tactics, Jocko Willink