Most people struggle the most with this aspect of detachment and it’s only natural. Most of us misunderstand love to be all about really holding on to the other person, trying to fix them and taking care of them in all ways possible, even if it comes at the cost of neglecting your own well being. It gets even worse when we let our lives revolve around certain relationships.
It might be relationship with your parents, with your spouse, with your best friends or anyone else who has a big influence in your life.
In all relationships, there is a need to practice a certain amount of detachment.
We might wonder why?
The answers are many. Detachment is needed so that you do not take everything personally because you don’t control their reactions. Detachment is needed so that you don’t seek their validation to the extent that your own opinions start to diminish. Detachment is needed to understand that love is about acceptance and not about control.
It is needed to understand that you alone are the master of your own lives and you need to draw boundaries so that others don’t control you.
Detachment in love is necessary to maintain that optimum amount of distance that is most essential for growth. No lines sum up the thought about loving detachment as these lines from Kahlil Gibran’s poem
“But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”