Practice in the Moment
Embracing the benefits of self-compassion is the first step. Then the question is how to foster it. Here is a set of core practices to get you started.
The easiest place to start is with a five- to 20-second exercise that can be integrated into your day: when starting a meeting, as you sit down at your desk or kitchen table, or even while pausing between responding to emails.
To practice self-compassion during these moments, take three deep breaths and with each breath, think three subsequent thoughts, each connected to one of the core elements of self-compassion:
- Mindfulness: “This is hard right now” or “I’m feeling tense.” By being aware of, but not overwhelmed by, your own emotions you’re able to make decisions with more clarity and wisdom.
- Common humanity: “I’m not alone; other leaders are facing similar challenges.” Recognizing that you’re not alone supports your well-being and your sense of connection with others, helping you consider the people potentially impacted by your actions.
- Self-kindness: “May I be kind to myself as I face this challenge” or “What would be kind right now?” Treating yourself well is essential for your own motivation and your capacity to help others.